The mother of the bride was once the top dog when it came to planning the wedding of her daughter. Since she and her husband often paid for the entire affair, it was her job to make sure that everything ran smoothly. But times have changed.
Modern couples are waiting longer than ever to say “I do.” The days when the father of the bride picked up the entire wedding tab have come and gone. Most contemporary couples pay the lion’s share of the bill, which gives them the right and responsibility to call the shots. But it can also leave the mother of the bride feeling out in the cold.
Traditions are a complicated and confusing thing. Though the father of the bride seldom contributes much monetarily these days, he still plays an important role in the modern wedding. He walks his daughter down the aisle, gives the first toast, and gets to dance with the bride. Unfortunately, mom doesn’t have much to do.
Then again, maybe it’s a blessing in disguise. The truth is that many mothers actually prefer a smaller role. Sure, they want to be there for their daughters. But who wants to be responsible for planning a contemporary wedding? On average, it takes nine months plan this single day. And since families often live apart these days, it is nearly impossible to handle everything even if you wanted to.
So, what does a mother of the bride do these days? In truth, not much! Mostly she serves as a great cheerleader and helping hand. She compliments and supports her daughter every chance she gets. After all, her daughter invariably has access to people who are far more knowledgeable about current fashions.
When asking about a dress or a floral arrangement, the bride-to-be will often ask the maid of honor before she asks her mother. It’s not favoritism. It’s simply because younger women have more experience with modern weddings than mothers do. That’s the long and the short of it.
And after all the cheering is done, the mother of the bride’s responsibilities shrink down to one. She need only select a killer dress for the ceremony. This can be harder than it seems. Let us take a moment to explain.
The mother of the bride is not a bridesmaid. Therefore, she must wait for her daughter and her friends to select dresses. She should never wear white and she should not wear the same shade of color as the bridesmaids. However, the mother of the bride is encouraged to wear the same color.Since she will be in most of the group photographs, it is important that her gown does not clash with the bridesmaids’ dresses.
That is why many mothers of the bride choose a slightly lighter shade of whatever color the bridesmaids select.Of course, these “rules” are to be taken with a grain of salt. Ultimately, the mother of the bride can wear whatever she likes. One fairly standard tradition, however, is that she informs the mother of the groom of her selection. It is a common courtesy that most mothers extend to each other.
When it comes to style and cut, most mothers of the bride take their cues from their daughter’s wedding dress. They should never wear gowns that are shorter or sexier than the bridal gown. Even a younger mother should try to dress in a more conservative gown on her daughter’s wedding day.Most mothers of the bride take pride in their accessories. They often wear matching hats and carry color-coordinated handbags or purses. Dresses with jackets are a popular choice. They are perfect for both indoor and outdoor affairs. The following is a brief list with description of the most common jacket materials and styles.